Mystery Solved

A hiking story...kind of.

Last month I noticed my windshield wipers were...not wiping. I looked at them and noticed the rubber blade was gone on both of them. Strange I thought to myself, but since I couldn't remember when I previously replaced them, I promptly drove to the auto parts store and bought new ones. The clerk offered to install them, but I'm a man! I don't ask for directions and can install my own wiper blades, thank you very much. I went home and after spending 10 minutes figuring out how to get the old ones off, I installed the new ones...myself...after reading the directions.

Fast forward two weeks. I was finishing a 20 plus mile training hike on the Coast to Crest trail starting at the south shore of Lake Camanche. There is a large trailhead parking lot with two porta-potties, way too many trash cans, two picnic tables, and a check-in kiosk. The parking lot is used by hikers, trail runners, and equestrians, and it's big enough for at least a dozen cars and a half dozen trucks and horse trailers. I park here often, and in 2022, at the end of a hike, when I am usually excited to return to my car, I found a note on my windshield indicating someone's displeasure. The note read: "try parking better." I'm not exactly sure what parking norm I violated, but the only other vehicles in the parking lot were huge trucks towing big horse trailers, so I assumed a well meaning equestrian was suggesting the location I chose to park made it difficult for them to navigate around tiny four door sedan me. 

After getting over, someone telling me my parking sucked, I've tried to park as to avoid further unsolicited "helpful advice." But I digress...I was returning to my car after my recent training hike and noticed bird poop on my drivers side door. I thought to myself, I've seen that before. Why are the birds always pooping on my car, and in the exact same place? And then I saw it! The rubber blade of my drivers side windshield wiper was sitting on my hood! My first thoughts in rapid succession were:  Who vandalized my car? I bet it is the same disgruntled equestrian who thinks my parking sucks. That was a brand new wiper blade and now I have to buy another one! I think I'll let the clerk install it this time.

Then I looked a the ground next to my right front tire and there it was: another rubber wiper blade laying on the cold hard ground! Wait...is this what happened to my last wiper blades? Is this the work of a serial wiper blade vandal? Should I call the police or maybe a park ranger? I decided against calling a park ranger because one time, a long time ago, I can barely remember the details, I got in trouble, hiker trouble, with a park ranger, in this very park. Maybe this was just bad hiker Karma. 

So I drove my wiper bladeless car home thinking to myself: Maybe I shouldn't park here anymore. Maybe I won't hike this trail anymore. Why are there no security cameras when you need them? Maybe I'll park in the exact same spot, hid in the bushes and catch the hiker hater valazing my car, and I will definitely buy cheaper wiper blades this time. As I drove, I noticed my side mirrors were very dirty, scratched, and out of alignment, which just added insult to injury. When I arrived home, I looked at the bird poop on my door again and noticed scuff marks on the door and window near my side mirror. Then it dawned on me! I whipped out my phone and googled three words: bird wiper blade. The very first response not trying to sell me something was: "Anyone know how to stop crows from destroying car wiper blades?" on reddit.

Mystery solved. Now I have to figure out how to get crows to stop destroying my wiper blades, pecking at my side view mirrors, and pooping on my doors. And how to park better. Open to suggestions...

Thanks for following along,

Loren